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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25852231">The Best Fake Boyfriend Lovino's Ever Had</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thats_Amore/pseuds/Thats_Amore'>Thats_Amore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hetalia: Axis Powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Eventual Happy Ending, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Belgium/Spain (Hetalia), Minor Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), Mutual Pining, POV South Italy (Hetalia), Past America/England (Hetalia), Past South Italy/Spain (Hetalia), Practice Kissing, Some Humor, Weddings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:02:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25852231</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thats_Amore/pseuds/Thats_Amore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lovino is tired of his parents asking when he'll find someone, and he doesn't want to look like a single loser in front of his ex, Antonio, who will be attending his little brother's wedding with a woman he recently started dating. Kiku comes up with an ingenious solution to Lovino's problem: bring his roommate Alfred as his date to his Feliciano's wedding.</p><p>(This plan will not end well, but Lovino is convinced to go along with it anyway. Godspeed, Lovino.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>America/South Italy (Hetalia), Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Best Fake Boyfriend Lovino's Ever Had</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please keep in mind that this fic is told entirely from Lovino's perspective. Arthur and Antonio may come across as jerks in this story (especially Arthur), but I only wrote them that way to create angsty backstories for Alfred and Lovino. America and Romano are my favorites, but I don't dislike Spain or England in canon, and I don't have anything against Spamano or USUK as ships despite preferring America/Romano.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lovino opened the door to his apartment, dumped his messenger bag by the door, and immediately began rifling through the mail left on a small table near the hat rack. Kiku, Alfred’s best friend from high school, offered him a friendly, polite greeting before turning back towards the screen. His actual roommate, Alfred, was too busy shooting fake zombies in their video game to turn around and say hello.</p><p>As usual, most of the mail was garbage. There were a couple of bills, Alfred’s <em>Popular Mechanics </em>subscription, and something in a thick cream envelope that was clearly an invitation to his little brother’s wedding. Lovino groaned as he tore open the envelope and saw the invitation with the little response card, and Al finally paused the game and turned to give his roommate a concerned look.</p><p>“Something wrong, Lovi?” Kiku was looking concerned as well.</p><p>Lovino gestured with the wedding invitation. “My little brother’s getting married, and I need to RSVP.”</p><p>Kikiu squinted at him. “Lovino-kun, I thought you had accepted Feliciano’s relationship with Ludwig?”</p><p>“I have.” He walked over to his friends and sat down on the floor next to Alfred. “But this thing has an option for a plus one, and I’m gonna be the only person from my entire family not bringing anyone.”</p><p>Alfred smiled brightly at him. “You could always bring me, right? We’ve been living together for a while. It’s probably time that I met your family.”</p><p>Lovino gave his roommate an unimpressed look. “I can’t just bring a friend, Alfredo. Not when everyone else will be bringing a spouse or significant other.” He lowered his gaze to the floor. “Not when Tonio will be there with his new girlfriend.” Antonio had been a neighbor and close family friend for years before he and Lovino had been in a relationship. A couple months ago, Lovino had heard from his mother that Antonio was dating some woman from Belgium who had recently moved to town and opened a cat café across the street from Tonio’s veterinary clinic. Lovino had also been subjected to more motherly nagging about Lovino finding a nice young man or woman to settle down with, along with her typical “subtle” suggestions about how she would love to have grandchildren from him someday.</p><p>Lovino didn’t mind that Feliciano invited Antonio and his girlfriend to the wedding, and part of him was grateful that his parents were so accepting of his and his brothers’ bisexuality that they hadn’t treated their sons any differently after they came out. But the last thing he needed was to be reminded of how hopelessly single he was and how Antonio was so much better at moving on. Lovino had gone on dates in the two years since their breakup, but he hadn’t been able to succeed in forming a relationship, much less anything significant enough that it would merit introducing someone to his famiglia, including the parents that kept hoping he’d find a person to share his life with the way Feliciano had.</p><p>Alfred nudged Lovino’s shoulder with his own. “You’ll be okay about seeing your ex, right?”</p><p>Lovino sighed. “Yeah. I’ve had a long time to move past my relationship with Tonio. But I don’t want to look like a loser in front of him, which I will if I don’t show up without a date. And I would like at least one day without my parents thinking I’m a failure because I’m still single.”</p><p>A long pause followed in which they all considered Lovino’s problem, and then to Lovino’s surprise, Kiku was the first person to speak up.</p><p>“What if you took Alfred as your date to the wedding?” he suggested quietly. “You could pretend he was your boyfriend. No one would have to know you’re just roommates.” Kiku had a devious smirk on his face, and it made something unpleasant twist in Lovino’s gut. Why the hell was Kiku looking at them like that?</p><p>Alfred, oblivious to the atmosphere as usual, let out a boisterous laugh. “Dude, you have the best ideas!” he told Kiku. He patted Kiku on the back, and Kiku grinned but failed to hide a wince at Al’s overexuberant back slapping.</p><p>Lovino snorted derisively. “The idea is stupid as fuck,” he stated bluntly. “It sounds like it came from one of those cheesy romance manga Kiku likes to pretend he isn’t addicted to.” Kiku blushed, indicating that was in fact the source of his ridiculous idea.</p><p>“An awesome idea is an awesome idea no matter where it came from,” Alfred declared. “Just think about it, Lovino. We live together and we’re besties, so I already know tons about you! I’ll be the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever had!”</p><p>Lovino felt reluctant to dim that bright light in Alfred’s eyes, but he needed to point out a few salient facts to his friend. “My family’s Italian, and stereotypically so. It won’t just be my parents, my brothers, and the nonno I’ve told you about. There will be all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins as well. It will be a loud gathering with a lot of people who will be extremely curious about you and some who will be very protective of me. They will ask you a lot of questions, and many of those questions might seem intrusive to you.” It was only fair that Alfred know the situation he was walking into, which Lovino would normally only subject to a serious romantic partner.</p><p>Alfred shrugged, and the light in his eyes didn’t dim at all. “I can be pretty loud myself. And I’m great at schmoozing people. As long as we come up with a decent cover story together, this will be a piece of cake for me.”</p><p>Lovino glanced over at Alfred’s casual attire of a Batman t-shirt, a baggy pair of denim jeans, and Converse sneakers that had certainly seen better days. To his concern, he couldn’t recall ever seeing Alfred in anything more formal than the business casual outfit he’d worn the day they met. His job as a website designer allowed him to dress much more casually than many employees.</p><p>“Do you even own a decent suit, idiota?”</p><p>Alfred scratched the spot behind his ear, which Lovino recognized as one of his nervous tics. “I don’t, but I could rent or buy one.”</p><p>Renting a suit was out of the question. He would not parade his “boyfriend” around in some ill-fitting, off the rack suit. If Lovino was going to commit to this insane plan, he was going to commit all the way.</p><p>“I’m taking you to a tailor,” Lovino decided. “You’re gonna wear a custom-fitted suit and impress the fuck out of all my family members. I’ll pay for it, since I’m making you pretend to be my boyfriend at Feli’s wedding.”</p><p>He caught a glimpse of Alfred’s wide, sunny smile before he was engulfed in a tight hug. He gulped, weirdly nervous for no particular reason as his face was pressed into Al’s leather jacket. “You’re the best, Vino! I wasn’t even gonna ask you for a favor, and if it was, it would be something like you cooking your amazing food for me whenever I want for a couple weeks.”</p><p>Lovino sighed and tried not to inhale the strangely comforting scent of leather, hamburgers, and the Armani cologne Lovino had bought Alfred last Christmas. He felt Kiku staring at them curiously, but refused to acknowledge it.</p><p>“Not like I don’t do that all the time, dumbass,” he pointed out.</p><p>“Still, I appreciate it.” Alfred squeezed him for a couple more seconds, and then he let him go. He pulled back and winked at Lovino in a way that shouldn’t have been half as appealing as it was. “I think I’m gonna enjoy being your fake boyfriend, Lovino Vargas.”</p><p>He ignored Kiku’s soft laughter. “Just don’t enjoy messing with people <em>too</em> much. We’ve got a lot of work to do to make this fake relationship convincing.”</p><p>“Anything for you, schnookums,” Alfred joked.</p><p>Looking back, the way Lovino’s heart fluttered at the goofy nickname should have clued him in that pretending to date Alfred was an incredibly risky idea. But Lovino viciously ignored his traitorous heart and glared at his roommate sharply. Alfred let out a booming laugh, and as his bright blue eyes crinkled in the corners, Lovino smiled in spite of himself.</p>
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</div><p>Lovino sent back the invitation with Alfred’s name written in as his “plus one,” and the next day, they discussed the details of their imaginary relationship. They both agreed it would be best to stick as close to the truth as possible, so they decided to pretend they had only officially started seeing each other a couple weeks before Lovino received the invitation from Feliciano. But they had been pining for each other for a while, so the relationship was serious enough for Lovino to introduce Alfred to his family at the wedding. Knowing his family would want more details, Lovino decided to invent a tale of him hesitantly confessing his feelings on April Fool’s Day (so he could pass the confession off as a joke if it went badly) and Alfred eagerly reciprocating. Their first date was a simple but romantic picnic under the stars. Lovino made the food, and Alfred found the location outside of the city where they could get a good view of the night sky.</p><p>“I serenaded you,” Alfred added. “You totally fell for me as soon as I started singing to you.”</p><p>Lovino rolled his eyes. “It must have been a hell of a song. I’ve heard your singing in the shower, and you’re not exactly Andrea Bocelli.”</p><p>“It was amazing. I’ll show you.”</p><p>Abruptly, Alfred got off the couch and kneeled down in front of him with a goofy smile. <em>Like he’s proposing,</em> Lovino thought, though of course that’s not what he was doing.</p><p>Alfred reached up to clasp Lovino’s hands within his own, cleared his throat, and stared up at him with a painfully sincere light in his eyes. “Let me be your hero,” he whispered, and instantly Lovino recognized the song he was about to sing.</p><p>Lovino started giggling. He couldn’t help it. “Of course you picked that song.” Ordinarily, hearing a song from a Spanish singer would have been a painful reminder of Antonio, but Antonio usually sang and played songs on the guitar with Spanish lyrics, not English ones. And the songs Antonio chose could get sappy, but they were never as cheesy as this song, especially the chorus.</p><p>Alfred sang the first verse, fully committed to his “performance” in spite of Lovino’s amusement. He was certainly not Enrique Iglesias. If this had been a drunken karaoke incident, it would’ve been amazing blackmail material for years to come. If this had been genuine, and if it had occurred without the influence of alcohol or friends egging him on, it would have been too sweet to mock. Lovino kept that thought in the privacy of his own head.</p><p>At the start of the first chorus, Alfred stood and pulled Lovino to his feet. “I can be your hero, baby!” he crowed triumphantly. Lovino doubled over in laughter, and Alfred kept him from falling over and started twirling them around the room. “I can kiss away the pain!” He wasn’t even singing, more like shouting at this point. The people occupying the neighboring apartments must have wanted to murder both of them. “I will stand by you forever! You can take my breath away!”</p><p>Lovino wheezed with laughter. “That’s what made me fall in love with you?!”</p><p>Alfred nodded. “Yep. I promised to be your hero, and you instantly fell right into my arms. It was extremely romantic.”</p><p>Lovino sighed and rested his head against Alfred’s shoulder. “I must’ve already been really gone for you.”</p><p>Alfred put his hands on his waist and swayed them back and forth.  “Guess so.” He hummed the song for a bit, and then he picked up where he left off, singing the next verse, but not at an ear-splitting volume. His voice was still terrible compared to Antonio’s or Enrique’s, but Alfred singing softly was actually kind of nice, even if he couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.</p><p>In a friendship way. Because this was for their fake dating operation, of course.</p><p>Lovino closed his eyes as Alfred sang the chorus again, feeling all the tension in his body melting away. Al finished the song, because apparently, he was enough of a dork to have memorized it completely, then he stopped and stepped backwards.</p><p>Lovino blinked his eyes open at the sudden absence of warmth, only to be met by Alfred’s smug expression. “Made you swoon, didn’t I?”</p><p>“Of course not.” Lovino felt his face heating up and glanced away. “But it’s not too implausible. We can keep that part of the story if you want.” Since he had been roped into helping Lovino, it was only fair to let Alfred contribute ideas too.</p><p>When Lovino managed to look at Alfred’s face again, he was wearing his normal, stupidly cheerful grin. It had never made his stomach flip before, and it definitely didn’t make his stomach flip then. He just had a sudden, unexplained case of indigestion. Yeah, that must have been it.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
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</div><p>The first real test of their alleged relationship came a few days later, when Feliciano received Lovino’s response to the wedding invitation. Feliciano called Lovino’s cell phone when he was in the middle of making dinner.</p><p>Alfred stepped into the kitchen and passed the cell phone to Lovino. “It’s your brother,” he said. Lovino nodded and answered the call, turning it to speaker phone.</p><p>“Ciao, Feli.”</p><p>“Hi, fratello! I just got your response card, and I see your bringing you’re roommate Alfredo to the wedding. Are you bringing him as a friend, or…”</p><p>Lovino gulped and looked up from the stove to give Alfred a worried glance. Alfred gave him a reassuring smile, and Lovino cleared his throat. “We’re uh, kind of together now, actually.”</p><p>“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” Feliciano let out a squeal, reaching a high pitch that the vast majority of adult men would not be able to hit. Lovino cringed at the noise, and Alfred laughed at both of them.</p><p>“Is that your ragazzo?” Feli asked teasingly. The grin was audible in his voice.</p><p>Lovino’s blush rivaled the tomato sauce he was currently stirring with a wooden spoon. “Sì.”</p><p>“Nice to hear from you again, Feli,” Alfred said.</p><p>“Nice to hear from you too,” Feli replied. “I’m so pleased that you and my brother are <em>finally </em>together.” Feliciano let out a sigh of either relief or exhaustion. “I could sense that there was something more between you two every time you came into the room while he was chatting with me on Facetime.”</p><p>Now it was Alfred’s turn to resemble the tomato sauce. “Thank you. That uh… that means a lot coming from you.” There was some hesitation and confusion in his voice, but nothing Feliciano found suspicious.</p><p>“I must hear the story of how you got together. Details, I need details.”</p><p>Lovino began to tell his brother the story he had crafted with Alfred. Alfred added believable commentary, like saying that Lovino was so cute and embarrassed when confessing his feelings that it took every ounce of Alfred’s will power not to kiss him before he could even get a full sentence out. But Alfred had been holding in his feelings to avoid losing their friendship, and he only felt brave enough to kiss Lovino after he confessed to feeling the same way Alfred had felt for a very long time. Feliciano cooed on the other end of the phone line.</p><p>Lovino talked about the first date, which Feliciano said sounded quite romantic. He talked about Alfred serenading him with the Enrique Iglesias song “Hero,” glancing at Alfred as he did so.</p><p>“It was actually kind of nice,” Lovino says. “Al’s pretty tone deaf, and the song’s cheesy as hell, but he meant every word. He made me laugh harder than I ever have, and being held in his arms just felt… right, I guess. It’s hard to explain if you weren’t there to see it.”</p><p>Alfred smiled, knowing at least some of Lovino’s compliments were about his impromptu performance the other day. Lovino couldn’t admit it yet, but he hadn’t been embellishing for his brother at all.</p><p>“I really do want to be your hero, Lovi,” he stated. If Lovino didn’t know better, he would’ve thought Alfred sounded like a man in love.</p><p>Feliciano, who tended to be overemotional, started sniffling. “You guys are gonna make me cry.” He already sounded halfway there.</p><p>Lovino rolled his eyes fondly. “There’s nothing to cry about, idiota.”</p><p>“But there is! You and Alfredo are perfect for each other! You must have always been meant to end up with him, not Antonio.”</p><p>Lovino visibly slumped at the mention of Antonio. Alfred walked closer to comfort him, but Lovino remembered who he was speaking to and quickly recovered.</p><p>“I think you’re right,” he told his brother.</p><p>Unprompted, Feliciano said that he could tell the relationship was serious, even if Lovino and Alfred had only been dating for a short while.</p><p>“It was the same way with me and Luddy,” Feli said cheerfully. “It didn’t take me very long to realize that he was the one.”</p><p>A few minutes later, the pasta that Lovino had been preparing for dinner was ready. Lovino asked Alfred to set the table, and Lovino said goodbye to his brother before he hung up the phone.</p><p>Lovino dished the orecchiette pasta onto two plates as Alfred went to go get the bottle of wine Lovino asked for and set forks and wine glasses down on the table. “I think that went well,” Alfred said.</p><p>“A little too well,” Lovino muttered to himself. Feliciano had unsettled him with that comment about “knowing” there was something more between him and Alfred. He had intentionally lied to Feliciano, so he wasn’t sure why the fact Feli had believed his lies so well was bothering him. He must have been feeling guilty.</p><p>Alfred poured the wine into the glasses as Lovino set the plates down on the table. “I feel kind of bad about lying to my brother,” Lovino said. “He’s not the one who’s been pestering me to get a boyfriend and making me feel like shit, but he blabs stuff without meaning to sometimes. The last thing I want is him telling the truth to my parents or worse, Antonio.”</p><p>Alfred nodded with a pinched frown as he sat down across from Lovino at the small kitchen table. “I’m sure Feli will understand if you explain it to him after the wedding.” He started eating the meal Lovino prepared, and that relaxed him a little. Lovino smiled at him and took a few bites himself.</p><p>Lovino sipped at his wine and tried to think. “Feli will understand, when the time comes. I’m not sure what to do about the rest of my family. I’ll probably have to tell most of them the truth someday.” He couldn’t carry out this façade with Alfred to the point of marrying him, not if they weren’t a real couple in love with each other. He wouldn’t vow to God that he would love and honor someone all the days of his life unless he truly meant it.</p><p>Alfred leaned forward and tapped Lovino’s foot with his toes. He had picked up the habit of going barefoot indoors from Kiku. “Worry about that later, okay? Maybe you can be honest with them when you get a real boyfriend or girlfriend.”</p><p>Lovino managed a weak smile. He didn’t understand how, but Alfred almost always made him feel better when he was down in the dumps. “It would soften the blow for some of them,” he said. He wasn’t sure how likely he was to find someone. His only truly significant relationship was Antonio, and that ended in abject failure. Some of the details were so humiliating that he hadn’t even told his best friend and roommate of two years yet.</p><p>“This pasta is delicious, by the way. You’re an amazing cook, Vino.”</p><p>“Grazie.” A warm sensation spread throughout his chest, and his smile became less strained and more genuine.</p><p>They ate in silence for a couple moments until Alfred brought up another issue. “I think we fooled Feli today, but I’m not sure we would have been as believable in person. I was nervous about lying, and my face would have given us away.” Alfred was a notoriously poor liar, and Lovino wasn’t sure why he decided to subject himself to doing something that would make him so uncomfortable. He must really value their friendship, Lovino concluded.</p><p>“I felt weird about lying too, especially since it’s the first time we’ve lied to anyone about this. We should probably practice acting like a couple before I take you to see Giuseppe and definitely before the wedding.” Giuseppe was a family friend and a tailor who would make Alfred’s suit for the wedding, just like he made the male members of the Vargas family suits for important occasions. He had grown up with Lovino’s father in the same neighborhood in Rome, and he would of course be attending Feliciano and Ludwig’s wedding. Giuseppe was one of many people they would have to lie to, at least until after Feliciano had gotten married.</p><p>“Kiku’s probably gonna drop by tomorrow,” Alfred said. “Since he knows the plan, he could tell us if we’re acting believable or not.”</p><p>“You could tell a few more people if you wanted to,” Lovino said. “Like those guys you work with, Eduard and Tolys. And your brother, of course. Anyone who won’t be going to the wedding and won’t gossip too much.” Lovino was the one who needs to keep secrets and lie to his family and most of his friends, not Alfred.</p><p>“Or I could just act like you’re my boyfriend and confuse the heck out of them.” When Alfred set down his wine glass after taking a sip, Lovino saw a devious glint in his eyes.</p><p>He laughed. “That works too.”</p><p>After they finished dinner, Alfred washed the dishes and Lovino went out to the living room. He surfed through the channels, trying to see if there was anything decent for them to watch on TV before they had to head off to bed for the night.</p><p>A few minutes later, Lovino settled on a channel that was playing a movie from a few years ago that he’d never seen. Alfred came out into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Lovino. He let out a very fake sounding yawn and put an arm around Lovino’s shoulders.</p><p>Lovino rolled his eyes. “Is this what you would do with me if I actually was your boyfriend?”</p><p>“Absolutely. I’d cuddle with you every single day.”</p><p>Lovino blushed and scooted a couple of centimeters closer. “I meant acting like you’re a 13-year-old with the fake ‘oh I’m so tired, let me put my arm around you’ bit. But thanks for answering that question, I guess.”</p><p>“You’re welcome, darlin.’”</p><p>Lovino huffed and forced himself to focus on the movie. It was a much smarter thing to do than focusing on the weird tingles he felt when Alfred playfully decided to use a Southern drawl on him. He didn’t want to acknowledge how Alfred was affecting him when he was only practicing the role he’d have to play at Feliciano’s wedding.</p><p>As the movie continued, Lovino relaxed and eventually snuggled into Alfred’s shoulder. Technically, this counted as the kind of cuddling two platonic friends probably shouldn’t do with each other, but the only thing that felt weird was Lovino’s heartbeat, which was racing like a rabbit being chased by a wolf. But there were no wolves in the room. Lovino was perfectly safe with Alfred.</p><p>At the end of the movie, Lovino glanced up and saw that Alfred had fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful in the dim glow of the television that it felt like a shame to wake him, but Lovino jostled him awake despite his misgivings. They both had work the next day, and neither could afford the crappy night of sleep they would get if they stayed on the couch.</p>
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</div><p>The next day, Kiku dropped by after work, just as Alfred had predicted he would. Alfred greeted Kiku at the door, then went back to draping himself over Lovino, who was currently attempting to type up an exhibition proposal. Alfred was considerate enough to not chat his ear off, but Lovino kept getting distracted by his roommate’s clingy embrace and the fleeting kisses he would press to Lovino’s neck.</p><p>Alfred had kissed him before he left for work this morning, too, and not the quick cheek kisses Lovino had given him since they moved in together. No, it was a kiss on the mouth, because boyfriends would kiss each other goodbye, according to Alfred. Alfred’s reasoning was sound, and it’s not as if Alfred gave him anything more substantial than a light, innocent peck on the lips, but it was still messing with Lovino’s mind and making it difficult for him to focus on things like work.</p><p>Kiku’s eyes widened as he sat down in a nearby chair. “Nani? Has something changed since the last time I visited?”</p><p>Lovino sighed but didn’t look away from the screen. “Alfred and I are practicing. For the wedding.”</p><p>“We need to be comfortable acting like this around each other so we won’t look phony in front of Lovi’s family,” Alfred explained.</p><p>“I see.” After a pause, Kiku spoke again. “So far, you’re doing an excellent job. Especially you, Alfred. You’re acting just like you did when you dated Arthur in senior year.”</p><p>Lovino paused, and the cursor blinked at him on the Word document. Alfred still had a couple pictures of the boy who had broken his heart, mostly because Kiku was in them too, and there hadn’t always been a way to easily cut Arthur out of the photos. Lovino didn’t know much about Arthur, only that he was English, had messy blond hair, sported massive eyebrows over vivid green eyes, and that Alfred had at one point loved him with every ounce of his soul. He also knew that Arthur had done something to Alfred that made him feel like a worthless idiot, and he suspected that it was much more than correcting his grammar or rebuking him for failing to impress his stuffy relatives, both of which Alfred and Kiku had mentioned. Maybe it was wrong to judge someone he had never met, who was hopefully much more mature than he had been when he dated Alfred, but Lovino disliked Arthur, sight unseen.</p><p>Alfred stiffened at the mention of Arthur. “Hopefully not as stupid as I was back then,” he mumbled, but not so quietly that Lovino and Kiku didn’t hear it. Lovino ran his fingers through Alfred’s hair soothingly and glanced over at Kiku, unsure what else to do.</p><p>Kiku had a fierce look in his eyes. “That wasn’t your fault, Alfred-kun. Arthur was the bakayarou, not you.”</p><p>Alfred let out a huge sigh and nuzzled Lovino’s shoulder. “I know. Sometimes I just need reminding, that’s all. Thanks, guys.”</p><p>“Anytime, tesoro.” Lovino figured he should start using pet names too, since Alfred kept coming up with sappy nicknames for him.</p><p>“Aww, honey, did you just call me your treasure?”</p><p>Lovino growled, mentally cursing Google Translate or whoever might have taught that idiot Italian. Had he been secretly talking to Feliciano? He should have only learned a few insults and curse words from Lovino. “Shut up, stupido.”</p><p>Alfred laughed and leaned up to whisper in his ear. “Make me.”</p><p>Lovino did not shiver, and his blood did not boil at the dangerous tone in Alfred’s voice. He absolutely did not visualize putting his laptop away and ravishing his roommate on the couch, making him scream rather than shut up. He did, however, accidentally type gibberish into his Word document, and he corrected the mistake with a muttered curse.</p><p>“This is even better than the manga I read,” Kiku said quietly, and Lovino deliberately ignored him. They were not the protagonists of a Boys’ Love manga. This wasn’t a set up for a romance, and this fake relationship with Alfred was only a matter of convenience that would not make his life more complicated at all.</p><p>Right?</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <hr/>
</div><p>Wrong. As the weeks passed, it only became easier to pretend. Lovino kissed Alfred whenever he had a convenient excuse: as a hello, a goodbye, a thank you, or a you’re welcome. Sometimes, he kissed him for no particular reason at all, only because he felt a sudden urge. Alfred always leaned into the contact, lips barely parted, but he never made a move to deepen the kiss or to kiss him anywhere below the neck. He would hold him close, but his hands always stayed over Lovino’s clothes and never roamed anywhere below his waist. If they were together and not just practicing for a fake relationship they would display in front of other people, Lovino would have been extremely sexually frustrated by now. (Actually, he was getting increasingly frustrated by the minute, but Lovino was doing his best to ignore feelings he could do nothing about.)</p><p>They easily fooled Giuseppe, his wife Elena, and their daughters, Veronica and Alessia. Giuseppe believed that Alfred was Lovino’s new boyfriend when they walked into the shop holding hands because he didn’t see how much Lovino’s palm was sweating and didn’t know that was the first time the two held hands. He may have seen Lovino quietly reassuring the tall, bespectacled blond as they entered the store but likely assumed Alfred was simply nervous about making a good impression on someone important to his boyfriend. He needn’t have worried about that; Giuseppe was welcoming as usual, and he and Alfred were joking around with each other after a few moments in each other’s company. As Giuseppe was taking Alfred’s measurements, Elena sat with Lovino and chatted with him. She playfully congratulated him on catching the eye of “such a handsome young man,” and Lovino blushed fiercely, which only further confirmed their relationship in Elena’s eyes. Veronica, Giuseppe and Elena’s oldest daughter, watched Alfred with the curious, wide-eyed gaze of a teenage girl with a crush.</p><p>Alfred, oblivious as usual, was surprised when Lovino mentioned Veronica’s obvious admiration of him on the way home from the first appointment. “Really?” he asked. “I hadn’t noticed.”</p><p>Lovino rolled his eyes. “Of course you didn’t.” Alfred was oblivious to romantic subtext. A person could scream “I like you, dumbass!” at him and Alfred would assume they just really wanted to be his friend. It’s not as if Lovino had been contemplating screaming that at him since they decided to pretend they were boyfriends. He was only thinking hypothetically. <em>Hypothetically.</em></p><p>Alfred’s friends from work and his brother visited, and true to his word, Alfred didn’t explain what was going on until they saw Lovino and Alfred together and began asking questions. Tolys and Eduard seemed perplexed by the whole idea of Lovino faking a relationship to make a good impression on his family and to maintain some level of pride in front of his ex-boyfriend.</p><p>Eduard squinted at Lovino. “Why can’t you just tell them the truth? It seems like a lot of work to lie to everyone.”</p><p>Tolys frowned. “And you’re only delaying the inevitable. You’re going to have to tell them them eventually.”</p><p>“Lay off, guys,” Alfred said, hugging Lovino protectively. “Vino wants a break from be unfavorably compared to his brother for one day. Just one. Doesn’t he deserve that chance?”</p><p>Eduard and Tolys glanced at each other. They didn’t say anything, but they seemed to be thinking it over and acknowledging Alfred’s point.</p><p>“Besides, this will give Lovi a chance to show his stupid ex-boyfriend exactly what he’s been missing.” Alfred grinned at the end of his statement.</p><p>Lovino hit his shoulder without any real force. “You’re embarrassing me, caro.” Lovino was grinning too, although he was far subtler than Alfred could ever be.</p><p>Alfred’s twin, Matthew, also did not take the news of their fake relationship well. He leveled Lovino with a protective brotherly glare then glanced over at Alfred. “Al, are you sure you know what you’re getting into? I don’t want to see you getting hurt from this.”</p><p>Alfred squeezed Lovino’s hand so tightly that Lovino worried for his blood circulation. “I’m sure. Lovino’s been completely straightforward with me. This isn’t an Arthur type situation.”</p><p>Lovino wondered what the hell that meant, but before he could consider it too long, Matthew was speaking to him in a quiet, yet deadly tone of voice. “I understand this is all pretend, eh? But if you hurt Al, I won’t hesitate to run you over with a moose and then feed whatever part of your body is left to Kumajiro.”</p><p>“Mattie, you can’t go around threatening Lovi with your dog!” Alfred whined. “That isn’t fair!” Matthew was impervious to his brother’s whining, and Lovino was quick to reply, a little horrified by the fact that Alfred’s crazy brother apparently had a dog he’d be willing to feed people to. Holy fucking shit.</p><p>“I’d never hurt Alfredo intentionally. So hopefully you won’t need to feed me to your dog.” Lovino shuddered and gave Matthew a wobbly smile. Matthew accepted this with a nod and then went back to his normal, soft-spoken demeanor. It was weird as hell, and Lovino made a mental note to never piss off Alfred’s brother. He could apparently make a moose charge at someone if they crossed him, and he also had a dog that could eat a fully-grown man.</p><p>Other than an awkwardly blossoming attraction to his best friend, pointed questions from Alfred’s coworkers, and Al’s overprotective twin, the plan was going off without a hitch. Mostly.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
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</div><p>Lovino was there for Alfred’s final appointment with Giuseppe. He scrolled through a couple emails on his phone and glanced up when he heard footsteps walking towards him.</p><p>Instantly, his jaw practically dropped to the ground. He had consulted with Giuseppe over the fabrics and the styling he thought would work best for the occasion and would flatter Alfred, and he knew that the midnight blue suit, when combined with the seafoam green dress shirt, the golden yellow tie, and the yellow and blue paisley pocket square would bring out the warm tones in Alfred’s skin and hair and complement his bright blue eyes. But he had no idea that Alfred would look better than any movie star or fashion model he had ever seen.</p><p>Lovino’s heated gaze took in Alfred’s broad shoulders, the trim waist he usually hid beneath baggy casual clothing, and his long, powerful legs. When his gaze traveled back up to his eyes, Alfred was grinning shamelessly at him.</p><p>Giuseppe’s eyes were twinkling. “I’m guessing from Lovino’s reaction, I did a good job, huh?”</p><p>Lovino managed to pry his gaze away from his handsome fake boyfriend. “You did an excellent job as always, Beppe.” Giuseppe accepted the compliment with a nod and a pleased smile, and Lovino stood up, walking closer to Alfred. “Caro, you look… gorgeous. Breathtaking, even.”</p><p>Alfred laughed softly, and a rosy hue appeared on his cheeks. “Really?”</p><p>“Really. I don’t think words exist in English or Italian that are worthy of describing you.” His hand idly traced the top button of Alfred’s suit jacket.</p><p>“Aw, Lovi. That means a lot coming from you. You know I think you’re the sexiest person on the planet.” Alfred’s nose scrunched. “Probably outer space too. Even if there was some kind of Star Trek alien race filled with supermodels, I’m pretty sure you’d still look hotter than all of them.”</p><p>Elena and Giuseppe laughed at this comment, and Lovino leaned up towards Alfred with an amused grin on his face. “You’re such a dork, Fredo.”</p><p>“As long as I’m your dork,” Alfred retorted playfully.</p><p>Lovino placed his hand on the back of Alfred’s neck and leaned up to kiss him. After so much practice, kissing him felt natural and comfortable, so much so that Lovino forgot they had an audience. The kiss was firm and passionate, and Lovino was badly tempted to slip his tongue inside Alfred’s mouth to taste him more thoroughly. He only belatedly recalled they weren’t alone when he heard a girlish giggle behind him.</p><p>When Lovino turned around, he saw a sheepishly smiling Veronica holding a clipboard. “I’m ready to settle up the bill.”</p><p>“I’ll take care of that.” Giuseppe guided Alfred back into the changing room so his suit could be packed up in a garment bag for him to take home.</p><p>When they were ready to leave, Alfred held open the door for Lovino even though he was carrying a garment bag. Lovino rolled his eyes fondly. Alfred was more attentive than most boyfriends, and their relationship wasn’t even real.</p><p>For some reason, that caused a wave of disappointment to go through him. Lovino ignored it and acted like everything was normal as he went home with Alfred.</p><p>As they were driving home, Alfred discussed the appointment. “I’m really glad you introduced me to Giuseppe and his family. I knew virtually nothing about suits before I came here.”</p><p>“Of course,” Lovino replied. “You needed a suit, and I want you to have the best.” He wanted Alfred to feel comfortable, and he wanted to show off a bit too, just like he would for a real significant other.</p><p>“I could help reimburse you. With all the work Giuseppe put into it, I’m sure it must have been expensive.”</p><p>“That’s not necessary. Consider it a gift.”</p><p>Alfred let out a sigh. “I wish Arthur had been more like you.” He paused, apparently unwilling to elaborate without prompting.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Lovino asked.</p><p>“Arthur’s family was rich, like practically British <em>royalty</em> rich. I was supposed to meet his parents at this formal dinner thing, and they said it was black tie optional. My family didn’t grow up like Arthur’s did, and the only suit I had available on short notice was this old one of my dad’s that didn’t fit quite right. When I didn’t show up wearing a fancy tuxedo, Arthur really let me have it for embarrassing him.”</p><p>Lovino sighed. “Arthur should have prepared you more for what you’d be walking into.”</p><p>“There was other stuff too. Arthur and his family thought I was too loud and too informal. Apparently, you’re supposed to act like a parrot and not actually tell people that you’re having a great time at the party when they say how do you do. Switching my fork to the other hand was gauche according to Arthur, and asking him what all those extra utensils were for at the place setting was one of the worst things I could’ve done. It’s not like I wasn’t trying. I didn’t call anyone dude, and I didn’t scarf down my food the way I would have if I was just getting a burger from a fast food joint. But I kept breaking all these little rules I had no idea about.”</p><p>This event had happened a long time ago, but pain and frustration were still apparent in Alfred’s voice when he talked about how badly it went when he met his boyfriend’s family for the first time.</p><p>“I’m sorry he treated you like that,” Lovino said. “As your boyfriend, he should have stood up to you when his snobby family started bad-mouthing you instead of joining in. And he shouldn’t have gotten on your case for not understanding everything and trying your best.”</p><p>Alfred frowned deeply, lost in his memories. “I don’t think anything I did could’ve been good enough for those people. I was just an average American middle-class kid, not the kind of person they thought was worthy of Arthur. I think Arthur realized who I was that night, and part of him must’ve stopped liking me, even as a friend.”</p><p>Alfred went silent, and he didn’t explain how he and Arthur had eventually broken up. In the three years since they met, Alfred had never explained, and Lovino didn’t press for an explanation now. Maybe it was too private or embarrassing, like the details about his relationship with Antonio that Lovino had only told his brothers.</p><p>They pulled up to a red traffic light and Alfred turned his head to give Lovino a worried look. “I hope I don’t screw up at Feli’s wedding. It would kind of defeat the point of bringing me there to make your family happy and make Antonio jealous. At least I won’t embarrass you by wearing the wrong thing, since you helped me get the suit.”</p><p>Lovino grimaced. “The suit wasn’t for that. The suit was because I’d want to help my significant other look their best and share my expertise with them. If you showed up in something that wasn’t meticulously crafted by Giuseppe, it would blow our cover story right out of the water.”</p><p>Alfred nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. It was really generous of you to do that, by the way.”</p><p>“My family isn’t gonna fault you for your personality or for asking questions. We aren’t snobs with secret rules for how people are supposed to act. I’ve been talking you up to my brothers and my parents, so they’re looking forward to meeting you. They’re not the kind of anal-retentive assholes who would scrutinize stuff like how people hold their silverware.”</p><p>The light turned green, and Alfred had a small smile on his face as he sped through the intersection. “I’m glad to hear it. I’m gonna charm the pants off everyone in your family.”</p><p>Lovino snorted. “As long as you don’t <em>literally</em> charm their pants off. They think you only want to charm off my pants in particular.”</p><p>Alfred’s booming laughter filled the interior of the car, and he was back to his normal self.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
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</div><p>Lovino was a nervous wreck the day of his brother’s wedding. Alfred had met his parents and his brothers the previous day, and both meetings went well, but today was the real test. Today, he and Alfred would have to act like a couple in front of Lovino’s entire family and his ex-boyfriend, who Lovino hadn’t spoken to after he moved out of the apartment they had once shared together. He hid it, because the best man of one of the grooms shouldn’t seem jumpier than the actual people getting married. Lovino had spent most of his time with his brothers that day, and Feliciano was radiating quiet contentment all day, even when he was told that the flower girl had gotten sick and couldn’t attend the ceremony as planned.</p><p>Lovino was rushing off to try to figure out who could replace little Gabriella when he ran into Alfred in the hallway (not literally, thank God, because the last thing he needed was an injury on top of his current problems).</p><p>“Whoa, where you running off to, Vino?”</p><p>“We need a new flower girl. Gabby got sick and can’t stop throwing up.”</p><p>Alfred winced. “Yikes, that’s not good. I was hoping you could help me put on my tie, but maybe I’ll ask someone else. I tried to do it myself, but I got couldn’t get it to work even after watching a Youtube video explaining it.”</p><p>Lovino sighed at the crumpled silk tie in Alfred’s hand. “Give it to me, and I’ll help you out.”</p><p>“You’re a lifesaver, Lovi.”</p><p>Lovino made a noncommittal noise as he smoothed out the fabric Alfred had wrinkled. “You’re really not used to this formal suit thing, are you?”</p><p>“Nah. I’ve kind of avoided dressing up since that thing with Arthur, and when I have to wear a suit for whatever reason, Mattie or my mom usually helps with the tie.”</p><p>Once the fabric was smooth, Lovino popped up the collar of Alfred’s shirt, draped the tie over his neck and began to tie it in a simple half-Windsor knot. He stared at Alfred’s neck, imagining the sun kissed skin mottled with purplish marks. Alfred swallowed heavily as Lovino pulled the knot up to the base of his throat, and Lovino’s fingers tingled as he pushed the collar back down and removed his hands from Alfred’s neck.</p><p>“All done.” He glanced over at his breast pocket and did not see the pocket square. “I’m guessing you need help with the pocket square too?”</p><p>Alfred smiled and held out the patterned silk square. “If you don’t mind.”</p><p>Lovino took the square from him and did an upside-down puff fold. He adjusted the peaks behind the puff until the arrangement pleased him for longer than he truly needed to, mostly because he was enjoying the intimacy of the contact with Alfred’s breast pocket much more than he should have.</p><p>
  <em>Dio, what is wrong with me today? Honestly, what’s been wrong with me for the past couple of months? This fake relationship is getting way too real for me.</em>
</p><p>Lovino plastered a smile on his face. “Now you’re all set. All you have to do is attend the ceremony and reception, which should be easy enough, at least clothes-wise.”</p><p>Alfred kissed his cheek and pulled back with an excited gleam in his eyes. “Thank you so much! I’ll see you later, Lovi.” He rushed off towards the room where the ceremony would be held, and Lovino went on the hunt for a replacement flower girl.</p><p>Luckily, Basch Zwingli, one of the groomsmen on Ludwig’s side, had a younger sister. At 12 years old, Erika was a bit older than traditional for a flower girl, but she was happy to help fill the role that Gabriella could not.</p><p>Erika tossed rose petals down the aisle for Ludwig and Feliciano with a beatific smile on her face, and the actual ceremony went off without a hitch. Feliciano was beaming as he stood clasping Ludwig’s hands, and Ludwig’s expression was more serious, but anyone with half a brain could see how devoted he was to Feliciano. (Including Lovino, who had been overprotective of his brother and naturally distrusted Ludwig when they first started dating.)</p><p>Lovino focused mainly on his brother and his brother’s fiancé during the ceremony, but there was one point when he glanced at Alfred. Feliciano was reciting his vows, and Lovino was so overcome by emotion that he began to tear up. He had to look away to recover, and instantly he locked eyes with Alfred, who was seated in the front row between his parents and his baby brother Marcello’s girlfriend. Alfred winked at him in a way that was far from subtle, and Lovino pursed his lips to hold in the chuckle that wanted to escape thanks to his goofy friend (or whatever the hell Alfred was to him now). He felt like he was floating, and he hadn’t even started drinking champagne yet. Lovino turned back to look at the two grooms, and he was able to watch the rest of the ceremony without getting overemotional or thinking of his roommate more than he should have.</p><p>The cocktail hour also proceeded smoothly. Lovino walked around introducing Alfred to his grandfather, along with various cousins, aunts and uncles. He could tell that Alfred was overwhelmed by trying to keep a bunch of new names straight in his head, but he was equally friendly and charming to everyone he met. His great aunt Rosa didn’t speak much English, but Alfred listened attentively as she tried to talk to him in Italian with the occasional English phrase mixed in. His puzzled squint was pretty adorable, Lovino decided.</p><p>Lovino translated what each of them said, and Aunt Rosa decided she adored Alfred despite the language barrier that made it hard for them to communicate. She beckoned him to bend down so she could kiss his cheeks and gave him a hug afterwards. Alfred gently returned the embrace and smiled at Lovino over Rosa’s shoulder.</p><p>Rosa separated from the hug and gave Lovino a serious look. “I like your Alfredo,” she concluded. “He will be a good husband to you.”</p><p>Lovino stammered, caught off guard by what his great aunt said and the fact that she had said it in English. “Zietta, we haven’t been together that long,” he eventually managed. He glanced over at Alfred, who was staring at his great aunt with wide eyes.</p><p>Rosa raised her eyebrows as if that was no reason for them to not get married, and Alfred took Lovino’s hand and smiled gently at her. “I care for Lovino deeply. I wouldn’t want to pressure him into anything before he’s ready, but I could see myself marrying him someday.”</p><p>Lovino stared at Alfred in shock for several seconds before he took a deep breath and translated what Alfred said into Italian. After he finished, Aunt Rosa nodded with a smug look on her face. “See, I was right,” she said, speaking entirely in Italian. “You should hold onto him. Men like Alfredo don’t come around that often.”</p><p>“Believe me, I know,” Lovino said, also in Italian. He ignored Alfred’s stare boring into the side of his head. “I’m planning to stay with him for as long as I can.”</p><p>Aunt Rosa gave Lovino a hug, and Lovino returned the embrace. “I only want you to be happy, bambino.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I am.” He was happy with his life, mostly, but he felt his gut squirming with guilt. He felt bad that he was lying to a little old woman about a relationship and letting her think it would go somewhere when he and Alfred were only friends.</p><p>The lie was good enough for now. Aunt Rosa smiled at both of them before she walked back to her table.</p><p>Lovino had to push aside his misgivings as Feliciano and Ludwig finished taking their wedding portraits and entered the reception hall. They did the traditional first dance, and then the parents of the grooms gave welcoming toasts. Dinner followed afterwards, and Alfred ate with gusto, but without the alarming speed he sometimes used when eating at home. He dabbed at his mouth with his napkin frequently and didn’t chew with his mouth open, so Lovino didn’t find any fault with him and neither did anyone else. When Alfred glanced at Lovino, silently asking for his approval, Lovino discreetly squeezed his knee under the table. Alfred relaxed and turned to face Lovino’s baby brother Marcello, who had just asked him a question.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I don’t think I heard what you said.”</p><p>He glanced between Alfred and Lovino. “I asked which one of you fell in love first.”</p><p>Lovino hadn’t prepared for this. He stalled, trying to think of what to say. “Ah, well, you see…”</p><p>“It was me,” Alfred interrupted, making Lovino close his mouth and shoot him a questioning look. “I liked Lovino the very first day we met, but he was with Antonio at the time. I’m not the kind of guy who puts the moves on somebody who has a boyfriend, so I tried to get to know him as a friend instead.”</p><p>Lovino’s cousin Flavio steepled his hands together and leaned forward. Flavio was inquisitive and loved to gossip. “How did you two meet anyway?” he asked. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard the story.”</p><p>“Al’s company was contracted to design the website for the museum where I work,” Lovino explained. “Alfred met with me so we could talk about what the museum needed in person.”</p><p>Alfred gave him an incredibly sappy look, and Lovino silently marveled at his acting ability. Normally, he was a terrible liar, but since yesterday, he’d given an Oscar-worthy performance of a man in love.</p><p>“I didn’t know much about art, but the moment I saw Lovino, I knew he was the real masterpiece in that museum. None of the sculptures or paintings could be half as beautiful as him.” He reached out to take Lovino’s hand and laced their fingers together. “You’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he murmured softly, like he was saying it only to Lovino and not the relatives Lovino was lying to.</p><p>Lovino was flustered by Alfred’s romantic declaration. “T-ti amo, idiota.”</p><p>Alfred continued to stare at him sappily, and Lovino couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned in to give him a soft kiss, and not just because that was what he would do if his boyfriend said something like that to him. Lately, Lovino had been kissing Alfred simply because he wanted to.</p><p>Alfred returned the kiss, and Lovino let the moment linger for as long as he reasonably could. When he pulled away, he was short of breath, and Alfred was too, even though they hadn’t kissed in a way that would be inappropriate in front of their current company.</p><p>Someone at the table brought up another topic, and Lovino was able to finish his meal. His head was still swimming from what Alfred had said by the time he was called up to the front of the room to give his best man toast. He did a decent job regardless, and his toast brought a few laughs and some tears from the more sentimental people in the room (Felicano and Alfred especially).</p><p>After he and Gilbert gave their toasts, the dance floor was opened to all the guests. Alfred pulled him up out of his seat and led him through several fast-paced songs. He sang at him below the volume of the music, and Lovino giggled hysterically, drunk off of something other than the alcohol he had consumed that evening.</p><p>Eventually, Lovino’s feet were sore, and he needed a break from dancing. Alfred led Lovino back to their table, and he left after Lovino asked him to find a waiter who would get him a glass of water.</p><p>As he was waiting for his fake boyfriend to return, Antonio started walking towards the table. He was holding hands with a pretty blonde woman Lovino had never seen before. She must be the Belgian girlfriend. Lovino straightened up in his chair and plastered on a very fake smile. He had hoped he wouldn’t have to talk to Antonio this evening, but Antonio had taken the opportunity to approach Lovino while he was alone without Alfred there to protect him from the most potentially awkward conversation of the night. Lovino regretted not going with Alfred to get the water.</p><p>Antonio gave him a small smile as he sat down in an empty chair across from Lovino, while his girlfriend took the chair next to him. It was subdued compared to the smiles Lovino remembered from when they were together, and long before, when Antonio was the older kid across the street who used to babysit him and his brothers. This must have felt awkward for him too.</p><p>“Hola, Lovi. It’s been a while since we last talked.”</p><p>Lovino maintained a blank expression. “Sì, it has.” Antonio knew all the reasons Lovino didn’t want to talk to him, and he didn’t see the point in pretending they could be friends after Antonio broke his heart and kickstarted a severe depressive episode he had only gotten through with Alfred’s help. Lovino could be civil for Feliciano’s sake, but that was about all he could do.</p><p>Antonio glanced away, then desperately tried to change topics. “So, Flavio told me you’re with Alfred now. I can’t say I would have ever seen that one coming. He doesn’t really seem like your type.”</p><p>Lovino narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” There was a strange tone in Antonio’s voice, and Lovino didn’t like it. Lovino would be lucky as hell to be with someone like Alfred.</p><p>Antonio’s backtracked, waving his hands in the air rapidly. “Nothing bad! Only that you seem like very different people. I’m not sure what you and him would have in common.”</p><p>“A lot of things, actually. He makes me laugh and smile even when everything around me is going to shit. I got a lot closer to him once we started living together.” Before then, Alfred had been a friend Lovino occasionally hung out with, but not someone he had been particularly close to. That had changed the day his relationship with Antonio ended. Lovino had knocked on Alfred’s door sobbing and asking if he could sleep on Alfred’s couch for the night. Alfred had opened the door for him, didn’t ask him too many questions, and offered him the room Tolys had used before he moved into a new place with his longtime partner Feliks.</p><p>Alfred had offered him more than just a place to sleep or a spare bedroom. He’d offered him a home and an understanding companion when he needed that more than he ever had. The next day, when Lovino was still clearly miserable, Alfred had surprised him by driving him to the nearest shop serving gelato. Alfred paid for the bowl of spumone Lovino ordered, and he got one for himself too. Driving out of his way to get gelato that day was one of the most considerate things anyone had ever done for Lovino.</p><p>“I suppose you know him better than I do,” Antonio conceded.</p><p>The pretty blonde woman Antonio had brought with him nervously darted her gaze between both men. Lovino gave her a friendly smile to put her at ease.</p><p>“Were you ever planning on introducing me to your friend, Tonio?”</p><p>“Ah, of course! This is my fiancée, Emma.” Antonio was smiling again, and this time it was much brighter, much more typical of Antonio.</p><p>
  <em>Fiancée? Didn’t they only meet each other a few months ago?</em>
  
</p><p>Emma stuck out her left hand towards him. Lovino immediately noticed the platinum ring with a heart shaped diamond placed on top. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lovino,” she said.</p><p>“Likewise,” Lovino shook her hand and tried not to think of the gold ring with a band of small emeralds and diamonds he had ordered with a special engraving of his and Antonio’s initials. He’d been forced to get a refund on that ring only a week after he purchased it.</p><p>“Antonio proposed a week ago, but we’ve only told a few people so far,” Emma explained. “We didn’t want to steal too much focus from Feliciano’s special day.”</p><p>“That makes sense.” Lovino desperately glanced off to the side, wondering where the fuck Alfred was. He could feel his suppressed anxiety, sadness, and rage gradually building into a panic attack, and he needed his best friend to keep him from falling apart.</p><p>A hand landed on his shoulder, and Lovino nearly jumped out of his skin. He relaxed as soon as he saw it was just Alfred coming back with a glass of ice water.</p><p>“Here’s that water you wanted, honey,” Alfred said.</p><p>“Thanks,” Lovino croaked out. He accepted the glass of water and started drinking it in huge gulps.</p><p>Alfred was staring at him in confusion until he looked over and spotted Antonio. They had met once back when Lovino and Antonio were still together.</p><p>Alfred gave him a nod of acknowledgment. “Antonio.”</p><p>“Alfred.” The atmosphere between them was frosty enough to preserve a snowman for decades. They had been polite when they met for the first time, but they didn’t have much to say to each other back then. They had even less to say to each other now.</p><p>Lovino abruptly set down his glass of water and tried to smile at Alfred, though it probably looked more like a pained grimace. “Tonio came by to say hello and introduce me to his fiancée. Emma.”</p><p>“Fiancée?” Alfred wondered aloud as he took the seat next to Lovino. “Didn’t you guys only meet a few months ago?” That’s what Lovino had been wondering ever since Antonio had called her his fiancée.</p><p>“Back in February,” Emma said, smiling at the memory. “Antonio came in to visit the cat café that I had opened with my brother. I wouldn’t normally ask out a customer, but I asked him out after seeing how adorable he was with the cats. Our first date was actually on Valentine’s Day.”</p><p>Lovino didn’t know what to say. He liked Emma, and if she had been single and he wasn’t pretending to be involved with Alfred, he might have tried flirting with her a little and possibly asking her out himself. She seemed kind and well matched with Antonio, and if Antonio hadn’t broken his heart two years ago, Lovino would have thought they made a cute couple. He still thought they were cute together, but the bitter resentment and the nagging question of why that wasn’t him were poisoning those feelings.</p><p>Alfred must have sensed that Lovino was upset. He scooted close enough for their knees to touch and squeezed his hand under the table. Lovino appreciated the gesture, but for once, Alfred’s attempt to cheer him up didn’t work.</p><p>He needed to talk to Alfred alone, away from Antonio and his fiancée. Nothing else would help.</p><p>“That sounds like a really romantic first date,” Alfred said. He sounded interested enough to not concern Emma, but anyone who knew Alfred would have been able to tell that it was just something he said to fill the silence. His typical liveliness and enthusiasm were nowhere to be found.</p><p>Antonio laughed and put his arm around Emma in an affectionate display. “It’s been a whirlwind since then. Emma and I haven’t been together that long, but being with her feels right. So I figured, why wait?”</p><p>Antonio’s words stung Lovino, and he fought hard not to shrink into himself. Antonio and Lovino had dated for six years before he proposed. <em>Six years</em>, and that still wasn’t enough time for Antonio to want to marry him. Antonio had said he didn’t believe in marriage, that it was just a piece of paper that didn’t mean anything. The symbolism of declaring their intentions before God and everyone who mattered to them meant the world to Lovino, but he’d stuffed down those feelings and accepted Antonio’s decision as graciously as he could. Despite his best attempts to not appear hurt by the rejection, Antonio had broken up with him a mere three days after Lovino had proposed, claiming that they “wanted different things.” He said he didn’t want to make Lovino unhappy anymore, and he wasn’t convinced to keep giving them a try even after Lovino openly cried and pleaded with Antonio to stay with him.</p><p>But it turns out that Antonio did believe in marriage. Just not with Lovino.</p><p>Emma’s next words stuck a dagger into Lovino’s heart. “Sometimes, when you meet the right person, you just know, you know?”</p><p>Alfred nodded, and Lovino could feel his friend looking at him the way a boyfriend who loved him might. “I get that,” he said. His voice was soft and warm, like he adored Lovino too much to speak about him any other way.</p><p>Lovino couldn’t take this anymore. He released a shuddery exhale, stood up, and turned to look at Alfred. “I think I could use some air.” He whipped his head around to face the couple across the table from him. “Tonio, it was nice catching up with you again. Emma, it was lovely to meet you.”</p><p>Emma smiled sweetly at him. “It was nice to meet you too, Lovino.”</p><p>Alfred rose out of his chair. “We’ll see you guys later. Congratulations!”</p><p>Lovino had already turned and started walking away as Antonio and Emma said goodbye to him and Alfred. Alfred trotted to catch up with him.</p><p>“Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” he whispered.</p><p>“I can’t talk about it here,” Lovino told him, voice already breaking as he struggled not to cry. “Outside.”</p><p>Alfred put his hand on the center of Lovino’s back, and he didn’t know if it was a gesture of support or something he did to further the illusion that they were together. At the moment, Lovino was too upset to care.</p><p>They slipped out through a side door unnoticed and made their way to a beautifully designed courtyard where the wedding party had taken pictures shortly before the ceremony started. Lovino’s shoulders started trembling as soon as the door closed behind them, and Alfred had to guide him over to a bench to sit down. Alfred wrapped him up in a fierce embrace, and he let Lovino weep into his shoulder, just like he had every time Lovino broke down in tears over Antonio. That had happened a lot in the first year they lived together.</p><p>Alfred sighed and ran his fingers through Lovino’s hair. “Are you still in love with him?”</p><p>Lovino shook his head. “No, that’s not it.” <em>If anything, I think I might be in love with you. </em>Lovino trembled and clung even tighter to Alfred, terrified of the realization he had been avoiding for the past two months. He couldn’t deal with that now, and he couldn’t handle having sweet, wonderful Alfred reject him too. He especially couldn’t deal with a rejection right now. Learning that Antonio had proposed to another person dragged up all the feelings of worthlessness Lovino had been struggling with his entire life.</p><p>Lovino shifted in Alfred’s arms, and Alfred pulled his hands away so that Lovino could move back to look at him. Alfred’s brows were drawn together in a tight frown, and Lovino wanted nothing more than to lean forward and kiss away that wrinkle between his eyebrows. He couldn’t, and he stared at his lap as he began to talk about what had happened between him and Antonio.</p><p>“You remember me telling you how long I was with Antonio before we broke up?”</p><p>“About six years, right? That’s a long time.”</p><p>Lovino nodded and twisted his fingers together. “I’d known Tonio my whole life, and I’d liked him long before we started seeing each other. Because I was a few years younger, it took him a while before he saw me the same way and was willing to get involved with me.”</p><p>“Yeah, I remember you mentioning that.”</p><p>“I’ve always been cautious in relationships, but it had been six years. I figured it wouldn’t be too early for us to take the next step, and I loved Tonio enough to want to marry him. If I had been a woman, I might have kept waiting, but there isn’t a script for how these things go when it’s two men, so I purchased a ring.”</p><p>“Oh God, Lovi, I’m so sorry.”</p><p>Tears were streaming down Lovino’s face. “He said no. He said he didn’t see the point in us getting married, that marriage was just a piece of paper that didn’t mean anything. I had to get a refund on the ring the next day. I couldn’t return it since I’d gotten it engraved. I was so sure he’d say yes to me. Then he broke up with me a couple days later. He said it couldn’t work because we wanted different things. But he did want all those things! Just not with me.”</p><p>Alfred put his arm around Lovino’s shoulders like he wanted to protect him from the world. He sat there silently as Lovino continued to rant, hands slicing through the air.</p><p>“He’s known her four fucking months! Four months, and he’s ready to marry her when he didn’t want to marry me after I wasted six years of my life on him! I fucking hate that bastardo!”</p><p>“I hate him for doing this to you,” Alfred said with a menacing tone, practically growling the words out.</p><p>Lovino leaned into him. “I only ever told Marcello and Feliciano. That’s what I was screaming about on the phone in Italian the night I moved in with you.”</p><p>Alfred’s arm tightened around him. “I figured.”</p><p>“I never knew how to tell my parents, my nonno, or my aunt Rosa. Every time they ask me when I’m going to find someone to marry and spend my life with, I feel like screaming. Because I had thought I found someone, but he didn’t want to marry me.”</p><p>“That’s a horrible thing to go through. It never got to the level of a marriage proposal, but I thought I’d found someone too. But I don’t think Arthur ever knew how to love anyone but himself.”</p><p>When Lovino looked at him, Alfred was watching the breeze flow through the branches of an oak tree with a melancholic look on his face. Lovino turned to look too, and he realized that the leaves were the exact shade of green as Arthur’s eyes. That’s probably why Alfred looked so depressed.</p><p>“What happened, caro?” Lovino asked softly.</p><p>Alfred sniffed, and his eyes became shiny behind his glasses. “That piece of shit cheated on me with his ex-boyfriend! I walked in on them making out in the student council room!”</p><p>“Dio, Alfred…”</p><p>“Francis was the vice president, and Arthur was the president. I didn’t suspect they were doing anything wrong when they spent time together. I always assumed they were planning stuff for the school!”</p><p>“Of course you did, Alfredo.”</p><p>At this point, Alfred had to remove his glasses. He carefully tucked them into his palm and continued. “When I saw them like that, my chest hurt so bad I felt like I was dying. They sprung apart when I started screaming, but neither of them looked sorry. Francis looked scared of how angry I was, but Arthur just sneered at me and told me to quit being daft. He said there was no reason to carry on like that when all we had was a fling. Then, he asked me if I really expected our relationship to last beyond high school like I would’ve been really stupid to think it could.”</p><p>“But it wasn’t just a fling. It meant a lot more to you.”</p><p>Alfred shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. Tears leaked out anyway. “Arthur was my first. My first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first <em>everything</em>. I thought he’d be my only. When he said he loved me, I was dumb enough to believe him. But looking back, I always said it first, and he’d just reply to me. We’d never discussed being exclusive, but I hadn’t thought we needed to. I was so in love with him I wasn’t even looking at anyone else, and I thought Arthur felt the same way. When he cheated on me, it made me feel like the dumbest person in the world. Part of me still feels worthless because of what that asshole did.”</p><p>Lovino sighed and leaned in to give Alfred a hug. “It’s not your fault, Alfredo. It’s Arthur’s. And if that testa di minchia was here right now, I’d kick his ass into next week for you.”</p><p>Alfred giggled weakly. “I think he moved back to London after graduation. At least that’s what I heard. It’s not like I tried to keep in touch with the guy.”</p><p>“Part of me wants to hop on a plane and track him down so I can go kick his ass anyway,” Lovino admitted.</p><p>Alfred made a soft noise of agreement. “I kind of want to tell Antonio he’s a moron for rejecting you when you proposed to him, but starting a fight with your ex would probably ruin Feli and Ludwig’s wedding reception.”</p><p>Lovino snorted. “Probably.” An irrational part of him wouldn’t mind Alfred defending him, but his logical side told Lovino that Alfred starting a fight would be unnecessary and cause more harm than good. Lovino wasn’t a delicate flower who needed his feelings to be protected at all times.</p><p>Alfred ended the hug and put the glasses back on his face. “I feel better now that I finally told you what happened between me and Arthur. Do you feel better too?”</p><p>“Mostly.” There was one thing still bothering him. “Part of the reason I agreed to this whole fake relationship thing was to look equal in front of Tonio. I thought I’d look like a loser if he showed up with a girlfriend and I was still single with no prospects. Now, he’s engaged to that girlfriend, and I still look like I can’t keep up with him.”</p><p>Alfred felt around in his trouser pockets. “Unfortunately, I don’t have anything resembling an engagement ring in here. I’ve got a key ring, but that would slip right off your fingers.”</p><p>Lovino giggled at him. “You’re so stupid, Fredo.”</p><p>Alfred smirked at him. “But you love me, right?”</p><p>“You know I do.” Alfred had only been joking with him, but Lovino meant the sentiment far more than he should have.</p><p>Alfred’s smirk slipped away, and he stared at Lovino with a thoughtful expression on his face. He looked like he really wanted to say something, but Lovino had no idea what it could be. He waited in anticipation until Alfred gave him a tremulous smile and scooted closer to him on the bench.</p><p>“If I had a ring, I’d propose to you right here and now. I’d consider it doing inside too, but that would kind of upstage your brother’s wedding.”</p><p>Lovino’s heart was in his throat, but somehow he managed to get words out. “Don’t you think that would be going too far for a ruse? I know I said I wanted to look equal to Antonio, but…”</p><p>Alfred interrupted him by putting his fingertips over his mouth. He slowly drew his hand away, and it felt like a delicate caress. Nothing in Lovino’s life made sense anymore, but especially not what Alfred was implying by touching Lovino like he was the most precious thing in existence. Lovino had been in a relationship with someone he had intended to marry, and Antonio had never touched him as tenderly as that.</p><p>“Alfred? What the hell is happening right now?”</p><p>Alfred looked away from him, suddenly shy. “I was planning to tell you this tomorrow, but I guess I might as well do this now.” He looked up at Lovino again, and his sky blue eyes held a storm of conflicting emotions. Resolve was the only one Lovino could pick out and name.  “I wasn’t lying to Flavio or Marcello earlier,” he began. “Ever since this started, I only ever lied about being your boyfriend, not how I feel. I think I’ve been in love with you since the day I first saw you at the museum. When you started talking so passionately about art and the museum’s mission, I didn’t understand half of what you were saying, but I knew I wanted to listen to you talk about stuff I didn’t understand for the rest of my life. Over time, I only became more certain of how I felt, especially after we started living together. I knew it was just practice for a scheme to fool your family, but getting to kiss you for the past couple months has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”</p><p>Lovino was crying, overwhelmed by all the wonderful, beautiful things Alfred was saying to him. He’d never thought someone would say anything like that to him, especially his best friend, and he never thought he’d believe them if they did. But it made sense. Alfred had never been able to lie about anything important, and he had eagerly volunteered to be Lovino’s fake boyfriend. Because he <em>loved</em> Lovino far more than any person could ever deserve.</p><p>In fact, Alfred loved him so much that he was sitting there with an expectant look on his face, patiently waiting for Lovino to quit crying and respond. He might have been patient, but Lovino no longer was.</p><p>Lovino lunged at Alfred and kissed him harshly with an open mouth, uncaring of the way their teeth banged up against each other or the fact that Alfred’s glasses were awkwardly shoved up against his eye. He white-knuckled Alfred’s suit jacket like he was afraid Alfred would try to escape if he didn’t. Alfred was too shocked to do anything but moan before Lovino pulled away, gasping one word against his mouth.</p><p>“Spumone.”</p><p>“Spumone?”</p><p>“The day after I moved in with you, you practically drove all the way across town to get me gelato just because I was heartbroken and you wanted me to feel better. After you did something like that, I had no choice but to love you.”</p><p>Their faces were so close after the kiss that he could feel when Alfred grinned brighter than the sun. “Well, ice cream always cheers me up. I was hoping it would cheer you up too.”</p><p>Lovino touched Alfred’s cheek with his hand, which wouldn’t stop shaking. “I love you, you selfless dumbass. But I was too cowardly to admit it to myself until a few minutes ago.”</p><p>“I love you, Lovino Vargas. Always have, always will.”</p><p>Lovino leaned in to kiss him again, and he was less aggressive this time. Alfred was able to respond in a way he never had before, slipping his tongue into Lovino’s mouth. Lovino groaned and slipped a hand down to unbutton Alfred’s suit jacket.</p><p>Regrettably, at some point, he had to pull away for oxygen. Lovino stared up at Alfred, who was looking down at him with wide, aroused eyes and barely resisted the urge to crawl into his lap. Only the fact that they were in a courtyard outside a room crowded with his brother’s wedding guests kept Lovino from taking things further.</p><p>“When we go back to our hotel room later, I will peel off this suit piece by piece very slowly.”</p><p>“Why slowly?”</p><p>“This suit is too nice for me to rip with my impatience. Your boxers are probably cheap as hell though, so I’ll rip those off as soon as your pants are gone.”</p><p>Alfred’s cheeks turned an appealing shade of red. “I’m looking forward to that.”</p><p>“You better be.”</p><p>Alfred grinned hopefully at him, and Lovino grinned right back at him. He didn’t stop smiling until he heard a very familiar voice. “See, I told you guys,” Gilbert said. “He just snuck out to the courtyard to make out with his boyfriend for a while.”</p><p>Lovino scowled as he turned to face his fellow best man, and he facepalmed in embarrassment when he saw that the smug albino was there with an irritated Ludwig, a smiling Feliciano, and his chuckling grandfather. Alfred laughing and putting an arm around him only made Lovino more embarrassed, but Lovino loved Alfred too much to shove him away.</p><p>“Ah, young love,” his nonno mused nostalgically. “I remember when I was just like that with Celeste.”</p><p>“Ve, it’s good to see Lovino so happy,” Feliciano added.</p><p>When Lovino pulled his hand away from his face, it still felt warm from the strength of his blush. “I’m assuming you idiots came out here for a reason.”</p><p>“We’re about to cut the cake, and we knew you wouldn’t want to miss that,” Ludwig said.</p><p>Alfred sprung to his feet. “Awesome! I love cake!”</p><p>Lovino rolled his eyes at his boyfriend (since that was what he was now, no qualifiers about their relationship being false) and stood up too. “You’re a glutton. Of course you love cake.”</p><p>The others laughed at Alfred’s pout, and then they started to head back to the reception hall. Lovino and Alfred walked behind them, holding hands.</p><p>Feliciano held the door for them as they entered the hall. “After we cut the cake, I will be tossing a bouquet. So don’t sneak off too early, because I’m sure that you’d both want a chance to catch it.”</p><p>Alfred squeezed his hand. “We’ll be there, won’t we, babe?”</p><p>Lovino looked straight up into Alfred’s eyes. “Of course we will, amore.”</p><p>The delighted expression on Alfred’s face wasn’t a proposal, but it was a promise. And for now, that was all Lovino needed. He was so content that he didn’t even care about his little brother’s obnoxious cooing before he was dragged away by his husband to the spot where they would cut the cake.</p><p>On the way back to their table, Lovino gave Antonio a genuine smile. The way their relationship had ended hurt Lovino deeply, but he no longer felt resentment towards his ex-boyfriend. In a weird way, he wanted to thank Antonio. If Antonio had never left him, he wouldn’t be holding Alfred’s hand as they walked back to their table.</p><p>Antonio flashed him a relieved smile, and Lovino decided that he could possibly try being his friend again. It would be awkward for a while, but that awkwardness might be worth it. When they broke up, Lovino hadn’t just lost his boyfriend, he had lost one of the first friends he ever had. Antonio wasn’t a bad guy the way Arthur had been, and deep down, Lovino wanted Antonio to be happy too. He seemed to be happy with Emma, and now that he had talked things through with Alfred, Lovino was glad to see his old friend happy with someone.</p><p>As they sat down at the table, Alfred whispered in Lovino’s ear. “When we tell Kiku about what happened outside, he’ll probably compare it to the manga he got this crazy idea from.”</p><p>Lovino laughed but didn’t take his eyes away from Feliciano, who was starting to cut the cake. “He probably will. I’m kind of looking forward to his reaction.”</p><p>“I’m looking forward to a lot of things. Like us feeding cake to each other someday.” Alfred was hinting, but he wasn’t being subtle at all. He didn’t know how to be subtle, just like he didn’t know how to lie, and Lovino loved Alfred even more for the things he didn’t know how to do.</p><p>He smiled gratefully and pressed a kiss to Alfred’s cheek. “Me too, Alfred. Me too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The scenes with Giuseppe were inspired by Chapters 8-10 of Educating America, which I highly suggest you read. It's an amazing fanfic. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6479132/1/Educating-America</p></blockquote></div></div>
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